Well well, you might be scratching your head and wondering what could these little, infectious bugs teach me?
While bedbugs are notorious for it's drive-you-up-the-wall-bites for the constant itch and the beautiful scars they leave behind, the emotional stress you have to go through every morning when you find a new bite and religiously applying insect repellent every night hoping it would shoo the bedbugs away are some real catalysts for stress.
Basically they are thieves of joy, patience, time and money.
Before I continue rambling about bedbugs and leave some of you questioning on my love for this topic and whatnot, here's a little background story-
My roommates (aka housemates) and I have been infested by bedbugs since April '15. After having 7-8 treatments by the pest control, visiting the doctors regarding the bites 3 times (the doctors were amazed by how huge my bites were), having done a million times of laundry, having to pack everything up for the treatment... etc.
Basically, it was a nightmare. It's easy to look back and type this right now; but even so, the thought of going through this again scares me to the core. To cut the story short, we had no choice but to move out as some of the other units at the apartment were infested by it too.
But wait, moving out?! Really?
School has just started and the moving in/out season has way passed and it seemed to be almost impossible for us to get a suitable apartment. How is it possible to even get a unit that caters for all our needs at this off season for apartment hunting? Walking distance to school with great condition and within our budget. Not to mention, we're most likely will be fined for breaking our lease from our brilliantly ridiculous landlord. And being the earthly sandpaper that she is, dealing with her requires immense amount of patience and wisdom.
So, moving out and finding a suitable apartment? Really?
"Ha. Impossible." I thought to myself.
Realistically speaking, it's really pretty impossible. However, there's a little voice that tries to fight back whenever I have this realistic thought.
"So, this is how big your faith is huh? Are you doubting God's ability in this?"
Whoa whoa whoa, hold it up right there. When did I ever say that? I'm not doubting God's power or anything.. but look, it's pretty silly to think that we'll ever have a great option that caters for all our criteria and what more, even better than that? Ha. You gotta be kidding.
After having several battles within myself, I do admit that I was struggling to put my faith in God. I was overwhelmed by all the practical facts that I have forgotten that I was believing in an absolutely sovereign and faithful God that has performed countless of miracles since the very first day.
Being ashamed of how little my faith was, my thoughts were quickly changed to-
"Okay God, the harder the situation, the more glory You'll get from the situation. Alright, You got this. I can't do anything, but You can"
To cut the story short, we quickly decided to take the apartment where 3 of us had a great feeling about it. Apparently love at first sight still exist.
The greatest part?
It's even nearer to school compared to our old apartment.
Normal walking speed= 2 minutes, speed walk/ run= within 1 minute
It's in an absolutely good condition.
Newly renovated, all electrical appliances are new. Heat and A/C works perfectly.
Cheaper rent.
Well, just $5 cheaper. But.. still.
Dang. Really?
Wow. I must say miracles do happen.
After researching and consulting people about some legal terms to deal with my landlord (about breaking the lease), and guess what? She simply said yes without giving us any trouble and we didn't have to pay any fines for that. The best part? She sounded pleasant and nice for the very first time. Although to be really honest, I was pretty bumped about it at the same time as I'm all prepared to talk some legal terms with her but I didn't even have the chance to do it.
I was pretty mind blown after the phone call. Knowing that God takes care the tiniest details makes me wonder, how much more does he takes care of the bigger, greater things in our lives?
Now finally, it brings me back to the title of this post:
What have bedbugs taught me?
1. Live in the moment
"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." Matthew 6:34
2. Embrace vulnerability
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
3. Step of faith
"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
Hebrews 11:8 "
I adore Abraham, I really do. I admire his faith. How on earth can he has so much faith in God?! Looking at his life, being the father of faith he is, his life is truly filled with incredible miracles and testimonies. When I was looking back at this whole experience, I couldn't help but to notice how everything started from a step of faith. Without having that step of faith of breaking the lease and finding an apartment in such a short time, we'll never be able to step into our Canaan land. Fear and uncertainties are common factors of withholding us from inheriting God's blessing by not stepping out in faith of our comfort zones. Even without seeing the complete picture, Abraham obeyed. Faith means actively acting upon it, even if it requires us to embrace uncertainties. One thing that we know for sure, in the Bible it says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6
4. Importance of community
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Hebrews 10:24-25
5. Joyful Heart
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
I gotta admit this is a heck of a lesson to be learned. How in the world can you be thankful when you're in a situation where you don't see hope? I vividly remember there was one night, I was frustrated, annoyed, stressed, and the itch from the bedbug bites were driving me insane. Sitting on my chair, in tears, being as vulnerable as I could be, I asked God,
"What else can I do? I've done every possible thing and it's clearly not working out. I tried to see things in Your way, Your perspective, but it's so hard and I can't do it. What else can I do?"
Almost immediately, I was reminded of this verse. "Give t-th-the whaat..? Give thanks in all circumstances?" Walao eh, you kidding or what? 你开什么玩笑?Applying it in this situation is waaaaaaaay harder than I actually thought it would be. After calming down and having a clearer mind, I've noticed that being thankful in this situation has helped me to shift my negative thoughts and to refocus on God. I've also learned that how we react on trials reflect of our perspective and relationship with God. Do we choose to be thankful for the struggle, for it's yet another opportunity for God to reveal His faithfulness and mightiness; or do we choose to drown with disappointments and bitterness?
All in all, it was really an interesting journey to experience God in many different ways. God has been so faithful, as always. I'm thankful for the setbacks, obstacles we had to go through for in return, lessons were learned, relationships were strengthened, God's love, mercy and favor were definitely present throughout.
I didn't understand the purpose of going through this whole incident while I was in it. Taking a step back, looking back at the whole incident, I have come to realize that:
As dots are starting to join, doubts are starting to clear, events are starting to connect; I see nothing but grace. If there's one thing that's constant, it must be God's grace. While people and things may change, God will never change. He is constant yesterday, today and forever.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
No comments:
Post a Comment